To of Loved and Lost
by Tellie-Skye
Summary: A short summary through someone else eyes of what ichigo's and his hollows relationship is like and how they feel about it in the end. So far it's only a one-shot but if I get a couple of people requesting it be continued than I will do so. ENJOY!
1. Chapter 1: Feelings

_**Hello their everyone, I would just like to say that this is my first attempt at fanfiction in a really long time so hopefully it isn't to bad . I also hope that you all enjoy my story.**_  
_**Ok firstly I'm not going to put up a disclaimer because one obviously if your on this site you know its fanfiction and second I just cant be bothered of doing one.**_

_**Now this was just something that came to me as I was listening to some music so if enough people want me to I will do more for it and even accept some ideas on what should happen. So thanks for reading and enjoy.**_

They clash and yet they love at the same time.

Their swords clang at each others and their cloaks both flare out behind them. One is white like the puresest of marbles the others is black like the darkest of nights, but don't be fooled they are actually quite the opposite of what they look.

The blacks ones hair clashes with his outfit, a bright orange that sticks out like a neon light does in the dark of the night. He has the look of the devil yet he has the kindest of hearts and a streak of bravery that as long as the tallest of trees.

His companion in white is just that, his hair, skin and sword are all white. Giving the appearance that he is an angle set out to kill his devil of a man. Yes his object was to kill him but because it was for the greater good. While our friend is black was kind and brave our other friend in white was not. He was as savage as the monsters that go bump in the night and had less remorse for his victims than a female black widow does for the male she eats.

The two know each other like know one else does, they are in many ones each other. They appear like twins but not at the same time and each is the opposite of the other. They strive to beat the other sometimes fighting with all their might and others times one will step aside to let the other be the victor.

Watching from the outside one would thing that they truly hated each other but in this world where building erupt out and you must walk along their sides as the ground. where the clouds float out above and its forever rainy because of the others sorrow. I am the other that can inhabits this world and watch as the two fight it out.

I am their sword. Their only companion, they one they both spill their sorrows, ideas, dreams and in the end they feelings about the one they love. So I know that while they fight it is not because they hate each other. No its because their ideas and dreams are quite different from the other, they both want to achieve the opposite of the other. One wants peace the other destruction.

Everything they dream of and Everything the wish for is so different from the others wish.

Well actually thats not true they both have one thing that the other wants. The others happiness. They both love the other, but will never admit it.

If their was ever a moment when i wished i could be someone else, be somewhere else it would be now. I can not sit and watch as two people who love each other but are both two stupid to admit their feelings to the other, try to kill each other. Nor can I really talk for even i have a secret than i can not tell them. That will they loved the other and poured their heart and soul for me to help I fell in love with them both.

So while i normally disappear in their regular fight, this time i will watch and it was the hardest thing I have ever done. I felt my self move forward until i was standing between the two their swords disappearing as they closed in on me. I watched as they both stopped in front of me, i couldn't help but smile the tinniest bit as they both had looks of complete shock and confusion on their faces. Not that i can blame them i mean i have never stopped one of their fights before why would i know.

I know that they wouldn't know what to do if they knew or even suspected that the other loved them they they did the but i feel that in the end they must know the truth of the matter.

So i raised my hand to both. Raising it higher until i was able to cup ones cheek in my left hand and the others in my right. I then showed them the others feelings, I pushed the thought and memories of when they finally confessed about their love of the other to me into the one they loved.

And as they both collapsed to the ground staring at the other in such wonder and awe I left. They never really noticed thought cause as I left they crawled together their arms going around the other.

Even as my heart broke and tears fell down my cheek i couldn't help but smile. In the end they wanted the others happiness and all i wanted was theirs so in a way i got what i wanted

But I also was left without what i wanted the most which was the love of both because i could never choose one over the other no matter how much i tried i needed both to be complete and they only needed each other.

So as usual i faded back into the dark., The only thing left what two versions of myself. Both where long and sharp with the power to destroy anything, one was white and the other black. Their handles where the opposite of what their blade was, its all that was left of me in the end.

Because my body felt hollow as i watched one strawberry creases his white horse. And one white stallion worship his strawberry.


	2. Chapter 2: Fleeing

**_So I got some inspiration for a second chapter of my new story To of Loved and Lost. I'm hoping you all like it._**

It feels like its been years but really hasn't been any longer than a little over two months. Since I've disappeared that is, at first I was indifferent in a sense. No actually I was happy that they had both gotten what they wanted.

Truly I was so happy for them but over time I also felt sadness. They would never know of how I felt but even if I did not appear before them I could still see what they did and I could also feel it.

If I concentrated carefully I could feel they way his hand touched your skin. How smooth is was, I'd get the barest taste of you as his tongue licked against you and hear the way you had the cutest moan when he touched your sweetest spot.

While he would brag in your fights how he was Zangestzu, I don't think he ever realised that it worked both ways. Yes he could to an extent feel and tell what I was gonna do or even claim in a fight that he was me but so could I. If I wanted I could focus solely on him at this moment and it would almost be like I was him, I'd feel everything about the strawberry he was devouring but that wasn't what I wanted. I wanted all or nothing. If I couldn't have both than I didn't want either.

In the end it was one of the main reason I abounded them when Muramasa gave me the chance. I wanted, no need to know if they would fight to get me back and they did. Together they fought me and won the battle winning me back as well. Now thought they ignore me just like before. It wouldn't of been to bad if it was the same as before but it's not.

After winning me back they pulled together and defeated Muramasa, but in the end when his world was collapsing and we should of been escaping away from the explosion that was just waiting to happen something amazing happened. He heard my shinagims voice as he called for help and in some weird act of fate his soul merged into ours. Changing everything.

Now they focus on him, they worry over him and make sure he's alright. Even when it's just us three inside this landscape his copy even worries over him and yet neither have noticed my prolonged absence. It breaks my heart to watch them coddle Muramasa like a child, to hold him close and bestow gentle kiss upon him as if he was their lover.

I should of known though that that was what he was. I had seen all the signs and just tried to ignore it but now I can't. Not after what I have just seen and yet I can't hate him. While they haven't noticed my absence over the last two months, he has. He always looks for me, he's never given up and sometimes he will talk out aloud as if he knows I can hear him even thought he can't see me.

I had started to hope that maybe if I couldn't find love with them then maybe I could with him. I had even started to show myself to him. Muramasa, my heart beats faster even now as I think about you and yet I can feel this hollowness in the pit of my stomach. My throat feels dry and I know that if I was to take off my shades I would notice the tell-a-tale wetness in my eyes.

I think back to what I've just seen their bodies intwined, the way all three of them moved in sync with the other and yet they where beautiful. Everything about them makes my heart beat faster, makes my breath get caught in my throat until my vision starts to go bleary. I want to just freeze the moment and watch them forever but I don't want at the same time. Especially when all comes crashing back. That they don't need or even want me know.

And that's it. He doesn't need me, he has another sword now. Someone who is even more powerful then me and also someone he can love. He also has the power to set me free, to let escape from here.

My only problem now is how to make him use that power. For I know that he wouldn't let me go, no for some reason he feels that I'm meant to be here. All I really have to do is trick him into letting me go. I shall continue to ponder but for now I must hide.

I must hide so that he can't find me. Muramasa, he saw me just as I saw them. That is how I know he won't let go. His expression was so open, that I could nearly feel the pain just at looking at him. I wonder if my expression was that open. If he saw my disbelief, lust, awe of how perfectly they fit together and lastly my heart wrenching pain when I knew I would never fit in with them.

XXxxXx

I bided my time well and really it wasn't all that hard. I went on like nothing had happened and he continued to visit. At first I knew he wanted to ask or even just say something about what I had seen but I never let on that anything had happened.

So he never said a word. I wish he had, I wish he had asked or even tried to talk about it maybe it would of made it harder when I finally decided to leave. In the end I tricked him.

A month had passed since I had seen them all together and we had gotten closer. I made a request a simple one really. I wanted to spar, I jokingly said I wanted to see which of us was stronger.

He accepted. Like he would of refused though, he wanted to make me happy and he did. He just never knew what he was really allowing.

In our spar I stopped, he didn't see it coming. I let my guard down and dropped my sword. I watched as his eyes widened in horror and he tried to stop himself from hurting me.

He didn't have enough time, it's why I had chosen this moment. He couldn't stop the momentum he had already picked up and as he sword plunged into my stomach I let my deepest wish surface to the front of my mind. Their was a flash.

And then I was out. I looked around in the open field just outside the town my master lived and finally I smiled.

**_Would love to get some feed back just so I know what ya think. Could be as little as a "good job, keep writing" or even you telling me what you do and don't like so far. I'll except so e suggestions cause to be truthful I don't know if I should end it hear or not. I got a couple of ideas but really I have no idea. So just let me know what you all think :D_**


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